We have been walking into 2014 for some weeks now and we are seeing sparks of life. Developments in our ‘one words’ , in our lives and hearts. That is what happens when we look for change and open ourselves up to adventure. We begin to thirst for it, look for it and hunt for it. When you do that, it is hard pressed not to find it.
Development comes to those who are craving it. And I am one of the cravers. Together we call our one words into the air and we watch. We await for what that will mean, and already we begin to see.
The thing with claiming, declaring and shouting our victory words to the sky, is that we feel bold, brave and strong. We feel and we are. But the dark lies of this world do not want us to feel that way and suddenly we are doubting, wishing we could grab those letters that make that ‘one word’ back into our mouths, our hearts and our spirits. Stuff them back deep inside.
“Don’t declare! Who are you to declare a word over your own life?” the doubting whisper says.
And I begin to feel a fraud. I begin to feel panic rise up through to my throat, bubbling up like unwanted vomit. My body is trying to purge the word.
I claimed the word FIRE and see no one else with this word. I feel odd and maybe even crazy. But I press on, I work hard through the first month of the word and see it manifest itself in amazing ways, and yet on the last day of the first month I lean against a flame and my hair goes on fire. Only for a split second, but enough to make the women in the room scream, my heart to sink and my ‘fire’ word to scare me. To panic me.
But I read “The Artist Way” books by Julia Cameron and write down her words.
“Your panic does not mean you are crazy, just that you feel it.”
“You are panicked, tell yourself, ‘Ah! Good sign, I am getting unstuck.”
“This means that at our most awkward and ill at ease, we are still in divine order and moving ever closer to Gods intention.”
I put down my pen and begin to breathe easy, and the sighs of relief flood my spirit.
Panic is okay. My most awkward and ill at ease is right.
“If that isn’t prophetic I don’t know what is!” A friend who witnessed that moment of ‘fire-awkward’ said to me as we brushed the charred bits out of my hair.
I had a hard time shaking that, because our words are not easy to swallow. They challenge and they declare things we had no idea they would declare. And that is how it is with words. They are more than you plan them to be and they will take you to a place you need to go.
Panic that rises from the core of your being and begins to tumble out isn’t something to be ashamed of. Work through the word that you declared over your life and don’t give yourself room to doubt it. Panic tells you you are heading in the right direction, most ignore, but we charge through and find the glory of our words, ablaze and alive.
How has your ‘one-word’ caught on fire and panicked you?
Amy Grace is a writer from Halifax, Nova Scotia Canada. She uses her website as a catalyst for her work and is passionate about bringing creative and innovative women together. Amy is a word-woman, avid reader, and yoga-lover. Dropping her career as an American Sign Language/English Interpreter, she is currently studying theatre and hopes to marry her love for the performing arts and storytelling for future projects. Follow her on Twitter and her website.