A guest post from Karrilee Aggett —
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It’s refreshing when you begin to feel comfortable in your own skin and in who you were really made to be. It’s Freedom and Bliss and Terrifying and Exciting… it’s Who-Cares-Anyway, and Definitely-Not-Me. Then it’s Peaceful Confidence in His Abiding Love, and finally – yes FINALLY, in His Abounding Grace!
Yes. It is all of those things! I pray that each of you are stepping into all of that. But let me bring you in closer… let me rest my hand gently on your shoulder, and speak softly so only we can hear. “Don’t park there… don’t feel like you have finally arrived.” Oh – enjoy it! Drink it in! But don’t forget that you are a BEING and you are still BECOMING! If you simply trade your old identity for this new one, then think that this is it, this is truth, this is who you ARE, well, a bit later on down the road things may just get a little shaky and uncertain again.
God, over time – over MUCH time, has reshaped and reformed me into a rather positive, faith-filled kind of girl. He captured my heart years ago and I am secure in our love and in His goodness. I slowly began to gain confidence in that, and in the follow through thinking that if He says He loves me… if HE says I am His Beloved and He’s not ashamed… then I can believe Him. I can trust in what He says about me – even if, or especially when – it is not what I think about myself!
However, in recent days I’ve noticed that much of who I claim as ‘me’ so boldly online and in small circles, is maybe not so true in all of real life. Oh I believe it wholeheartedly, but do I live it… out loud… out there? In most cases now, I feel that I do, but a few days ago I found myself straining to hear the old familiar fears and doubts instead of tuning in to His loud whisperings. I entered a situation where I was anticipating Community, but showed up and allowed my own insecurities to intimidate me into being quiet; being withdrawn; being silenced. That may be who I was, but that is not who I am anymore!
My first real encounter with my One Word this year was not what I was hoping it would be like, but it was necessary nonetheless! My word is “Surprise!” and while I was hoping it would be something good… I didn’t anticipate it also being something hard to admit to. I was truly surprised at how quickly I felt intimidation crawl up and make itself at home in me.
My desire is to be real, to be authentic, vulnerable. Already my One Word is stretching me and showing me layers of truth that I hadn’t seen. It’s giving me opportunity to lean in, embrace it and learn from it. Impulsively, I jumped in and signed up to host an (in)RL meet up – putting myself out there, anticipating Community once more! This time, I hope the Surprise will be how unintimidated I allow myself to be!
How is YOUR one word showing up for you and what is it teaching you so far?
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Karrilee is a Wife, a Mother, Daughter, Sister, Friend… She is a Scrapbooker, Writer, Reader, Pray-er, Photographer, Beach Lover, Laugh Seeker, Life living person, serving God to the best of her ability! She lives in the PNW with her husband and nearly grown girlie and she is passionate about diving in deeper with the Lord and inviting others to discover how personal, how intimate, how abundant His Love is for them! Her life message? Speak Life. Be Love. Shine On. She loves to share what is on her heart and what the Lord is speaking to her at: http://abidingloveaboundinggrace.blogspot.com
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